I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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