it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize