margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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