the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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