butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
