I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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