I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize