Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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