do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
