i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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