I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm always down for nudity.
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