He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize