laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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