about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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