so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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