Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
