dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
