I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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