Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
someone owes me an orgasm
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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