Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
