I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came so hard my ears popped.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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