They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
