If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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