Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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