I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
