Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
