She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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