bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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