no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
