is your mom at the bar?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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