so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
