White coat. Heels.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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