The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
