My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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