the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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