I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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