clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
