I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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