I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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