i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
