if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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