My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
