I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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