Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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