Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
