Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If that was your dad, he is hot
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
