so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize