so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
