omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
