I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
