I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
