Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
