You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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