dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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