How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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