VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
