you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
