Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize