We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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