i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
