I must be too annoying 4 u.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
