He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
