i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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