did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
